newyorker:

Roz Chast on the problem with bananas:

“But lately I’ve started to wish that there wasn’t such a fruit as the banana, or, more accurately, that people didn’t eat bananas in public. It’s not because of their phallic aspect. Who doesn’t notice that? It’s so obvious that even a seven-year-old can look at a person eating a banana and think, Heh-heh—hope you’re ‘enjoying’ that ‘banana’! There’s really not much a person can do about that, unless you want to pull out a knife and fork and plate every time you eat a banana, and then you look like something’s the matter with you. Like maybe you’re so bothered by the phallic aspect that you have to cut it into prissy little rounds before you eat it. Talk about drawing attention to a problem!”

I tell a joke along these lines …